As I'm thinking about you tonight, God keeps bringing to mind the one point that has made things so much better for me on every trip I've ever led. The word is "unity". Up til this point, Ben and I have been talking to you through this blog about taking care of yourselves, spending time with the Lord, leading beyond survival and toward lifelong change. Great stuff. Now, I want to give you something that is an additional tool for you to use on the field, one that will help take some very unnecessary stress off your plate from the very beginning. The tool is this: training your team towards unity.
That's a strange concept, eh? "Training" a team towards unity? Aren't we supposed to already have that? As Christians, aren't we supposed to be all about it? The answer is simple: God desires for us to have it. We fight it. We let everything from pride, self-centeredness, and even business get in the way of our unity. There's nothing like basking in the Kenyan dirt in a full day of awesome ministry, seeing the local people hit their faces in tears at the presence of God in their lives, and then coming back to your base to two of your team members going off on each other because of a sarcastic comment one let slip.
Over the years, I've heard many comments from different leaders that sound like this: "Unity is not possible with such a big team". "Unity is not the focus, ministry is". "People are all different and there is no way that everyone is going to get along all the time." I rebuke all of those thoughts in the name of Jesus!!! Unity has always been one of the biggest strong points of my teams for one reason: because we continually asked God to make it so. We continually cried out to Him for unity and community among us. We prayed long before our trip ever started for it. We made it a priority, not the thought that "oh, if it happens, great". We mess up. And then we repent and start over. We hug a lot. We do encouragement circles, a lot.
You will hear much more about this at training camp. We'll give you dozens of different scenarios and let you see how unity played itself out in those teams. We'll give you dozens of tools that you can use on the field to encourage unity. We'll do team builders galore at training camp, and then you do even more on the field! I'm not saying that having unity is easy. It's not. It's work. The point is: start NOW asking God to build unity in your team. Get the kids to begin praying to that end. Last year in Swaziland, I had the most diverse team I have ever led in my life. 16 people all from extremely different walks of life. The only thing we had in common was Jesus! We didn't always understand each other, but we stood up for each other. We worked it. We prayed. HARD. And today, that team continues to pray for each other, email, and lift each other up.
I've copied a letter below that I always send out to my teams. I would have written a more hip 2007 version, but it's really late and I need to go visit with my mom and dad for the one full day I am with them here in Ms! I want to ask you to read the letter, and either copy and paste it and send it to your teams, or write your own version of it. This is training our teams for unity. This is the body of Christ. The letter is written very simply-remember, some of our kids are 15:), but the ones who've read it have always gotten the point.
My prayer for you this summer is that your team will be unified.
Love Alli
Dear Team,
As you are reading this letter, you are getting prepared for the journey of a lifetime! How are you all feeling about that? Excited? A little nervous? Stressed about all that you have to get done before you leave? Thinking about leaving home for more than just a week or two? Pumped to see the Lord use you in ways you never dreamed possible? Maybe a little of all of that! Well, this letter will hopefully help you to feel more prepared. It will also lay out some of the expectations that AIM and your leaders have for you as a team.
This letter is fondly entitled "The Unity Letter". This is the singularly most important letter you will get from us. Please read it carefully, as it will greatly affect the outcome of our time together.
"I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." -
Ephesians 4:1-3
"Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." - Ephesians 4:29
Many of you have gone on mission trips before, or gone to college. You have lived in communion with other people for some time. We all grew up in families, whether large or small. But how many of you have lived twenty-four hours a day with people for seventy to ninety straight days? When I say "lived", I mean ate with them, slept next to them, used the bathroom next to them, everything! LIVED! This mission trip is not the place to come to SPEND TIME ALONE! You will be with people 24/7, and your patience will be tested in ways you never imagined! You will have one hour a day for your personal quiet time with God, but even that will often be done with one of your teammates sitting near you. You will often be sleeping together in one room, and will spend countless hours together in the van. Are you ready?
Team, if we are not unified, we might as well just stay at home. People will be able to tell in one instant if there is division on our team, if there is quarreling, disagreement, if there is anything but pure love. On one of my summer trips to Jamaica, our team had many people speak negatively against us. We consisted of twelve girls, and people said, "Oh, there will sure be cat-fights on that team!" and "Man, I'm glad I'M not on a 12-girl team!" But my team did not allow Satan to get a foothold, and begin praying for unity before we left for the trip. I'm telling you, unity was the strongest aspect of our team! Everyone saw it! The people we were ministering to did not believe that we had just met each other at training camp, that we were strangers before we came! When they saw the love that had quickly bonded our team together, the Jamaicans begin to want that, too. They quickly became our friends. In Christ, it was easy! In our own selves, it was impossible!
You know how you feel when it's too hot in the car and no one will turn the air conditioner up? And a very sweaty boy is sitting beside you and you're both sticking to the vinyl seats? You know how you feel when so and so forgets for the twenty-third time that you HATE jelly on your peanut butter sandwich, and gives it to you anyway? You know how you feel when someone borrows the last bit of your shampoo without asking, and you can't get to the store until Monday? You know how you feel when someone laughs that loud obnoxious laugh for the 80th time and embarrasses you in public? You know how you feel when it seems like you are ALWAYS the only one who stays behind and does the dishes while everyone else does their own thing? Well, think about these scenarios. This is what you will be faced with every day. Sounds irritating, huh?
One thing the Lord has shown me consistently in the past few years is this: Who am I to say that somebody is "getting on my nerves"? Who am I to say that one of God's precious beloved is "bothering me" or that I find her/him "irritating"? Just because one of my Christian brothers or sisters has a different personality trait than I do, just because someone acts or reacts or thinks differently than me, this does not necessarily mean that the person is wrong. Just different. In order to accept others' differences, we have to leave ourselves at home. When packing for this trip, don't even pack up your Self. Put it in a corner back home, or better yet, take it to the cross of Jesus and let it die there! That is the only way we will make it, Team. We must die to self.
Pray now for team unity like you never have before. Pray that the love of Christ will give us compassion for each other, and passion for His lost. Pray that God will use each one of us to lift each other up, to encourage each other, to cause each other to burst into fits of uncontrollable laughter, and to give big hugs when we are feeling lost or lonely. He will do it for us, Team. He always does. But it is gonna take EACH one of you to make this work. If ONE person decides to be divisive, if one person decides that it is "all about me day", then we are in trouble.
Let me close with one last story of unity that God wrote through one of my teams. I went to Zimbabwe in '98, and if you've been watching the news, you know that they are a nation torn by racial prejudice and strife. On my team were six people with light-colored skin, and three people with dark-colored skin. We were nine people who had an incredible love and respect for one another. We laughed together, a lot. We found joy in each member of our team, and it showed! All we had to do was stand up before a congregation, all in a row. Different colors of skin. Together. And you could almost hear the crowd gasp. We were a picture of unity before we even opened our mouths.
What picture will you be for the world this summer?
It's up to YOU. Not just your leaders. Not your teammates. It is up to YOU to let God reign in all of your actions, in all of your reactions, in all of your secret thoughts.
Here are some common things that easily destroy unity. Begin praying against them NOW, and ask others around you to do the same:
1.Sarcasm. Sarcasm is the number one thing that can tear people down. It is absolutely forbidden on this team, but a hard habit to break if you are in the habit of being sarcastic. Think about it: sarcasm sometimes makes us laugh, but not if you are the one being laughed at. It hurts, it cuts, it wounds. Pray now against any sarcasm. If you are a sarcastic person, as many Americans and Canadians are , ask others around you to break that, and begin replacing your sarcastic words with uplifting ones. Ask the Lord to help you think before you speak.
2. Gossip. This is the number two thing that can tear people down, especially groups of people. Each person on this team needs to make a conscious decision to be a "rubber wall". We must each decide that under NO circumstances will we talk about another team member behind his/her back. If you hear anyone start to talk about anyone else, then you let it bounce off of you and die on the floor. Gossip can only live if it has room to grow. If it dies with you, then it has no chance. Even in discussions with your leaders, you will not be allowed to talk negatively about any team member. If you have a problem with a team member, the Word says to go to that person first and discuss the problem. See Matthew 18.
3. Not giving people the benefit of the doubt. If someone says something to hurt your feelings, stop for a second. Look at that person's heart. Were they in a hurry when they said it? Did you misunderstand them?
4. Unforgiveness and holding grudges. Team, we have to be first to forgive. And first to let an offense go.
5. Not being open and honest with each other. If someone hurts your feelings, then go directly to that person - immediately!
And there are many others that you can think of! Think about times when you have not gotten along with people. What were the reasons? And then pray against them!
Just a reminder: you have chosen to take the leap into leadership...hopefully none of you cringed as you read those words.
If you would all stop moving for a few seconds and really listen, I can almost guarantee that many of you would hear the same thing: CHAOS! So much is going on and people are passing in and out of your life like an overworked toll booth on the NJ Turnpike during evening rush hour traffic.
I am in GVILLE working on these cabins, slaving for hours a day with several other brave guys from the office, and yesterday as we turned off the power tools and generator from another long day of work, I heard a beautiful thing: SILENCE. It was magical.
Don't worry, I am not about to say go and get some solitude or do a silent retreat this weekend. What I am going to challenge you with is this: the decision to take the leap into leadership this summer is really admirable...but the decision to show up at camp and try to lead without the proper preparation is suicide.
I was just in Yosemite Park and was able to observe these incredible mountains and rock portions, some of which people actually climp! I wondered how they ever do that and live to tell about it or look at the pictures. The answer: dynamic and disciplined preparation.
Friends- you cannot just wing this summer. Even Ambassador leaders cannot just suck it up for 3 weeks and survive...okay, you can but you will hate yourself for it. I am calling us all into deeper levels of preparation. Make the tough decisions that need to be made to prepare yourself to walk in all of what God has destined for you to walk in this summer.
Be ready to fast...start tomorrow if you need to. Be ready to step away from activity and obligation. Be ready to add to your prayer networks. Be ready to pause and listen...make some space...and prepare. I know you can do this. I know you need this. I know I need this...
I think we all would agree that we desire to see change happen in the lives of the participants who are assigned to our teams. In fact, for most of you, this is the reason that you lead teams: to see transformation in the participants.
Here is a guarantee: 95% of the participants will go through serious spiritual transformation during the trip- because God is good and because of YOU! (I say 95% because there is always the chance that someone will not make it through the trip and/or that individual who chooses to shut down their hearts and say no to Jesus…we all do this at some point in our lives and regretfully it happens on some of the teams as well.)
Here is a problem: if the first time your students here a challenge do something radical with that personal transformation in the world for the rest of their lives is at debrief in Atlanta then it will be way less likely that the transformation will continue on more than a month beyond their missions experience.
Here is a question: So how can you begin leading now to better insure that your participants experience transformation that leads to life long change? I will suggest a few thoughts here, but I am REQUIRING YOU TO RESPOND WITH A TIP OR A COMMENT ABOUT ANOTHER LEADER'S TIP BY FRIDAY!!
Get your students to start vocalizing the desires they have for their lives and what God is calling them to NOW. Why is this important? Because we cannot assume that everyone wants to be a full-time missionary or pastor or something "ministry" related. The more you know what makes your students tick and what they think God is calling them will help you connect the experiences they have on the trip to their futures.
Challenge your participants to consider now full-time call or more missions or something that may look radical that starts after the trip. Young people usually have never been called to some greater than normal life and the routine of American living. Put the thought in their heart and continue to water it. Talk about how your life has been transformed by following God and missions to get them excited.
Consider a prayer commitment or some type of fast leading up to the trip that has a focus beyond the trip.
Plan into your teaching and daily debrief times an application that goes beyond the trip. A major frustration many participants experience when they get home is they cannot connect the experiences of the trip to their lives at home. Sometimes this is because their lives at home need to change, but it is also because no one helped them begin to process what God was doing in their lives while on the trip.
Okay- so these are some basics. It is your chance to pipe in…
Dear V-leaders, it's been so exciting to hear from you all as you are getting to know your teams! Most of you are in a flurry of activity right now, trying to do life and prepare for the summer at the same time. Your kids have a million questions, you only have a few answers, and some of you are feeling quite overwhelmed. Some of you are thinking, "when I just GET to Kenya, things will be so much easier!" But in reality, that's when the intensity really kicks in! The million questions are still there, they're just "there" in the form of a real live person standing two feet in front of you, asking for the zillionth time what they need to take with them to ministry that day!
So, our theme is "How to lead beyond SURVIVAL", and that can start right now. In actuality, your trip has already begun. You are getting to know the people you will lead this summer. You are getting to know your co-leaders. You are juggling all of the things you have on your plate. Sounds a lot like an Ambassador and Real Life mission trip!!!
In getting to know you, I've been thinking alot lately about my biggest struggles on the mission field when I'm leading a team. I have led mission teams to other countries for 13 years, ten of them with AIM. Before that, I did inner-city missions in the US. After all of this time, there is one thing that is still a struggle for me to do that goes a step beyond just surviving, and the more I talk to experienced leaders, the more I know that this struggle is real for many of us. It's the struggle to not just "survive" in my alone times with God, but to spend long moments just soaking in his presence. By myself. Not just in worship with my team, not just in those magic ministry moments when someone is coming to the Lord or being healed before my very eyes. By myself. Me, God, and a tree to lean back against.
It's in those quiet times that my mind seems to get busy. I'm bombarded with thoughts like, "Oh, the kids are quiet now, they are all doing their quiet times. It's a great time for me to work on our schedule for next week, or catch up on receipts, or go and talk to our host about so and so..." No one is in my face asking me questions. No one is currently puking from the latest African bug. No one is blasting DRIME music and practicing drama two feet away from me. No one is...
I have a choice. I can either press into God, or press into work, into all the expectations AIM has of me as a leader. What do I do?
It's in times like this that I think of my grandfather. Paw will be 94 years old in 15 days. He has been a teacher all of his life. He taught for 35 years in the school system, and even after retirement, never stopped teaching. To this day, not a season goes by without one of his former students contacting him. They somehow look him up and find him in Clinton, Ms. They call, write letters, stop by to visit on their way from New England to California. They go out of their way to find him. And every student says the same thing: You believed in me when no one else would. You were hard on me when no one else cared. I am who I am today because of YOU.
As leaders, we are teachers, too. Everything we do, whether purposefully or not, teaches something to our students. They watch us in ministry, and they learn how to hold orphans and touch lepers. They watch us in free time, and learn that it's ok to play Speed Scrabble and have joy in the Lord. They watch us in our discipleship times as we go through the Journey, and come to deeper realizations of God's plan for us. They watch us in our quiet times, and...
What do they see? Do they see us running around and trying to get things done? Or do they see us sitting before the Lord, soaking him in? Do they see us only feeding them, the team, out of our own strength, or feeding the team out of the overflow of our own full hearts?
My grandfather has never stopped teaching, but he has never stopped soaking either. He reads like a madman. He learns like a child, devouring anything he can get his hands on that will be useful to us younger generation. He has journaled every day of his life since he was a kid. He can tell you what he did on the second day of second grade, or on May 2, 1984. He can tell you, because he takes time to process. He takes time to soak it in. He doesn't miss a beat, because he takes what he learns, takes it all in, journals about it, remembers it, applys it, teaches it.
Sometimes when leading an AIM trip, it feels like it all flies by in one big rush. If I don't spend time with the Lord processing all that He's showing me, taking in everything I've learned, then I can't learn what He wants to teach me through the experience. I look back, and it's one big Indian or African blur. I remember the elephants, but not the words "I love you" that were whispered in my ear by the very mouth of God Himself when I was feeling lonely. If I haven't pressed into God in my alone times on the field, when I come home, it doesn't get any better. I get surrounded by friends, family, obligations. Life flies by in a blur again, and the precious moments of being taught by God are gone. I've missed the chance to sit at the feet of the greatest teacher who ever lived. I'm still in the same grade I was before, still in the same place. Without lessons learned, there's no growth.
So there's the struggle, but what's the answer? If you're like me, I usually have to struggle and lose a few times before the answer begins to get through my head. I pray that this is not the case with you guys in this situation; I pray that you "get it" now, that you begin to set a precedent in your lives this very minute. If you don't have an established, regular quiet time with the Lord, here are some things you can do to jump-start that right now:
1. Set aside time to spend with the Lord BEFORE your day starts. Plan it like you would plan to have lunch with a friend
2. Don't be religious about it. This is not a command from your 7th grade youth pastor; we want you to do this as a discipline, as food for your soul, for YOU. Not to please me and Ben. You have a God who loves you and wants to spend time with you.
3. Be accountable. Start now as a leader team holding each other accountable for alone time with God. Ask each other what God is saying to you. Journal about it. Share your God thoughts or journals with each other.
4. Once you arrive at training camp, let your team know that their quiet time is also your quiet time. It's a sacred time, not to be interupted. When they see you pressing in, their leader, it will encourage them to do the same.
What you do now, you'll do on the field. Me and Ben are praying that this busy season before training camps will be filled with rich times with the Lord. Just you and Him. Soaking in his presence. Learning everything he wants to teach you. Processing all that he's showing you. Hearing all of His whispers.
Okay V Leaders (that is volunteer leaders, for those of you who are a bit slow on the code language)...here is the official site for us to connect over the next 2 months. Yes, there is Myspace...Facebook...and cell phones, but this is the coolest and also mandatory place to connect, comment, and grow in relationship.
One question that Alli and I get all the time from VLeaders is, "Why did you choose me to be a leader?" In my mind I usually answer, "why are you asking me this question if you are the one who applied?" but I know the source of this questions comes from a place of fear and a bit of insecurity that we have all faced throughout our lives. Most of you have heard me describe the Vleader position as "one of the most challenging and intense leadership experiences you will ever take on..."
Alli and I don't want to lie to any of you...this is going to be an amazing experience for you but it will be challenging. It is just short of the feeling you have on your wedding day when your bride is about
to appear at the back of church and you are so excited and yet so scared and the question running through every smart man's mind is..."Why did she pick me?"
Here is a little photo of J and I on our wedding day. Some of you will get to celebrate our 4 year wedding anniversary with us this summer- June 7!
So knowing that this leadership experience is going to be intense and challenging, lets talk about what it will take to not just SURVIVE. Honestly, at the end of the day we are pretty happy if each team at least survives out there on the field...
I will never minimize the importance of survival. I know so incredible people in my life who have survived so much tradegy and pain. I respect each of these people because each of them chose to go beyond complaing and just surving and they all chose to handle their test with grace and a positive attitude. Here is a picture of my mom with her sister and brother...my mom is a recent cancer survivor, my aunt survived a brain aneurysm and more,
my uncle survived polio way back in the day when they still did not the best ways to treat it. They are heroes...Survivors!
So lets dialogue about some leadership skills, tactics, or principles that each of you already lean on to be solid leaders...remember- we believe in you and know that God is going to use you this summer. We are going to press you hard and train you in every area that you need to be trained in, so in the end you will be ready. Until that time though, lets start growing together as a team/community and talk a bit about leadership.
Please list your name when you blog and not just your email address...
Just a reminder: you have chosen to take the leap into leadership...hopefully none of you cringed as you read those words. 
I was just in Yosemite Park and was able to observe these incredible mountains and rock portions, some of which people actually climp! I wondered how they ever do that and live to tell about it or look at the pictures. The answer: dynamic and disciplined preparation. 
to appear at the back of church and you are so excited and yet so scared and the question running through every smart man's mind is..."Why did she pick me?" 
my uncle survived polio way back in the day when they still did not the best ways to treat it. They are heroes...Survivors! 